It all adds up


Malaysians were aghast when they learned that Sufiah Yusof, Malaysia’s child maths genius who was accepted at Oxford when she was 12 had turned into a hooker.

Unspun‘s usually unreliable, and late, sources now tell of a move by top government officials to help her manager her sex overdrive. They’ve pointed Unspun to an unattributed news report being quoted in this newsgroup that Unspun, in all his naivity, innocence and trusting nature thinks is true:

KUALA LUMPUR, April 18 – Malaysian ministers, deputy
ministers, and other bureaucrats are making a beeline
to London to help maths-genius-turned-hooker, Sufiah,
with her high sex drive.

The former and current Ministers of Health have
released a joint statement saying, “We believe that we
can understand Sufiah’s positions better and, maybe,
let her know our positions as well by having a
face-to-face meeting with her. We understand that sex
is essential to good health and as the current and
former health ministers, we believe that no one can
provide Sufiah with better health education. Anyway, a
high sex drive is not uncommon and we look forward to
helping Sufiah with her problem, together, if
necessary.”

The Education Minister and his cousin, the DPM, are
also traveling to London to meet Sufiah.

“We actually tried to make an appointment with her for
Saturday night but it seems that our boss has got in
ahead of us. She’ll only be free on Monday, so we’ll
be looking to spend some quality time in Soho until
then – all expenses paid by our ministries, of
course,” said the Education Minister with a smirk on
his face.

“We intend to get to her bottom, I mean, the bottom of
her situation, and convince her to work in Malaysia.
We feel that she has many of the right attributes that
can ease the pressure on hard things,” he added while
moving his hands around in his pockets.

The Rural and Regional Development ministry is also
sending it’s minister, Muhd. Muhd. Taib to meet with
Sufiah.

“She’s a smart person. We think that she can
contribute some ideas to the rising decadence in the
rural areas of Malaysia. I hope to see her back in
some rural areas in Malaysia. I also hope to see her
front up. I believe we can come to some natural
position that is best for both of us,” said the
Minister with a big grin on his face. “Besides, she
can help me with my maths as I’m always confused about
the amount of zeroes behind the $1 I can carry
overseas.”

The Tourism Minister is also one of those who is
looking forward to getting some know how from Sufiah.

“Have you seen the state of Malaysian bushes? I’ve
seen my fair share of bushes and I can say that they
are a disgrace? How can we attract tourists with
bushes like this? She keeps her bush nice and trim and
we need to know how to do that to get more tourists
for Malaysia. I’m going there to gain some first hand
experience in bush trimming from her. I’m sure that
once I get my fingers wet, she’ll even volunteer to
come to Malaysia to help in our bush trimming
efforts.”

When asked if the Agriculture Minister was not a more
suitable person, she said, “Trust me. I know bushes
better than him.”

It is believed that some of the Malaysian politicians
who had lost in the last General Elections had already
met up with Sufiah to get her expertise.

“She is really an act of God! I used to have plumbing
problems but she just orally taught me how to solve my
problems,” said one former minister who requested
anonymity.

A MAS spokesman said that flights to London are all
fully booked for the next 2 weeks. – TAKDENAMA

Published by unspun

An eternal student of persuasion, communication and crisis management skills, with a propensity to unspin spins

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13 Comments

  1. I think they all just wanna go and rent her for the night/ week. After all, Khalwat Laws do not apply in England. Have you seen her pictures online? They make her look like a shiny new Carrefour product dying to be purchased… I mean rented.

    What a better excuse. Also, since it’s official business, The Citizens of Malaysia will foot the bill for them to go have a jolly time. Are they proud that she is what she is today? Are they going to glorify her in Malaysia? We will wait and see. But what happened to the Islamic Fundamentalist view that all women should be covered up, lest they get raped?

    I don’t get it. Will these morons justify “raping” her, coz of her state of “undress”? Well, I guess, it’s not rape. Just like in Saudi, some Mufti can temporarily marry them for a few hours, let them shake-the-earth, and then do a divorce after the cigarette.

    Yum Yum. Make everyone want to be an Arab Muslim too doesn’t it?

    *sigh*

    Like

  2. Apart from the fact that the “news” article is a whole load of crap (erm, do our minsters desreve to be made fun like that? *shrugs*), but the sufiah issue is just a big deal due to the fact that it was oversensationalized by the foreign media to make malaysia look bad. And why should we help them in making that an easier job? Drop it, she’s just a lost child (non-malaysian citizen at that), and dragging our whole minister in the story is well, tasteless. Funny maybe for a while. But tasteless.

    Like

  3. All Malaysians should be proud with Sufiah Yusof who “succeed” in her professional and prestigious job in UK …

    So, MTB has to campaign her in their site to attract many tourist to visit Malaysia ……..

    Like

  4. Dear Malayness, you said, “…So, MTB has to campaign her in their site to attract many tourist to visit Malaysia ……..”

    And what do you propose MTB to say?

    Please come to Malaysia… We have lots more like her here? LOLOLOLOL

    Like

  5. You are late alright! The ministers making a beeline to hear her recites the mathematical formulas whilst at it. According to Sufiah, some of her clients gets real turn on with that…hahaha.

    Nevertheless, can’t blame you for being late since you were ‘kidnap’ in Bali over the weekend.

    Like

  6. michael chick, i have to disagree with you here. not all ministers are corrupt. not all ministers deserve to be placed in such a light. i have a personal encounter with a couple of them, and there are good people in power. please don’t generalize. i also agree with darcwil that this piece of news is overpublicized, overdone and over the top. it does nothing to justify MAlaysia’s image in the foreign media.

    Like

  7. @Clarisse: Whoa there, it is obvious that that article is a spoof piece and in running it I thought I had left enough hints in the posting to ensure that readers are clued in. Thee isno way our ministers are clever enough to pun their way in a news interview.

    As a spoof piece I think it is very funny for the puns and double entendres. Chill.

    Like

  8. Dear clarisse yap, yo, chill. When it’s a spoof. We laugh and crack jokes about it. When it’s serious, we take toe the line. You never saw me laugh one bit about over at Raja Petra’s arrest and/ or Seditious charges. Mine’s the first comment. Go look yourself….. http://www.malaysia_today.net

    BTW, UMNO makes a complete fool of itself without any of us trying very hard already.

    It’s been a long day for all of us. For now, Peace…

    Like

  9. This is kinda non sense rite? The whole news was so far away from the truth. It does nothing at all to help regain Malaysia’s image to the world. It so why publish? sigh..

    Like

  10. Pingback: free newsgroup
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