Who let the dogs out? Malaysia vs Indonesia’s Amazing Race to the Bottom


Most of your would be unaware of it but there is a relentless race between two neighboring and competing nations Malaysia and Indonesia.

It is a race to the bottom of the IQ ladder by its religious wallah. You know the type, using the name of religion to to impose their stupidity on others.

 

The state of play yesterday was this: Malaysia fired its first salvo when the Malaysian Islamic Development Department (Jakim) said pretzel store franchise Auntie Anne’s change the name of its “Pretzel Dog” to “Pretzel Sausage” lest it confuse and alarm Muslims.

The dog is an unclean animal, according to some Muslims, so using its name would make things unclean. Presumably Jakim will soon order name changes to Hamburg and hamburgers, Swine Fever, pig iron and order a revision of the nursery rhyme featuring three little piggies.

Rename ‘Pretzel Dog’ to ‘Pretzel Sausage’, Jakim tells Auntie Anne’s – Nation | The Star Online

PETALING JAYA: The Malaysian Islamic Development Department (Jakim) has recommended that pretzel store franchise Auntie Anne’s change the name of its “Pretzel Dog” to “Pretzel Sausage” in order to receive a halal certification.    “It is more appropriate to use the name ‘Pretzel Sausage’,” said Jakim’s Halal Division director Sirajuddin Suhaimee.    “The improvement process is being conducted from time to time.  “Malaysia’s good name as a pioneering ‘halal global’ figure needs to be improved.  “To avoid this issue at the global stage, the panel has decided not to use such a name,” he said via WhatsApp Tuesday.   In a statement earlier, Jakim clarified that the body did not label Auntie Anne’s as not halal.  Jakim explained that Auntie Anne’s food products were in the process of getting a Malaysian halal certification.  It said that this was done after some improvements to the franchise’s application.  This week, Jakim’s rejection of Auntie Anne’s halal certification application went viral on social media and blogs, with many Muslims questioning the halal status of the food items.

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Not to be outdone,  the Indonesian team represented by the Indonesian Ulema Council issued a fatwa against speed bumps.

Its rationale: Speed bumps because they are “harmful.” It is unclear whether the ulemas have mistaken the word bumps with humps because Unspun’s been told that if you’re going at reckless speed while humping it may result in injury.

Indonesian Ulema Council in Samarinda issues fatwa saying speed bumps are haram

As the sole independent entity entrusted to inform Muslims in Indonesia as to what is or isn’t forbidden, the Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) has issued many questionable fatwas (rulings based on an interpretation of Islamic law by a recognized authority) in the past, which have included everything from theprohibition of playing Pokemon GO to being homosexual, which they said should be punishable by death.

Some might argue that the MUI is doing what they believe is in the best interests of all Muslims with their fatwas, which is why this one is oddly counterintuitive.

The MUI branch in Samarinda, East Kalimantan issued a fatwa against road speed bumps of all things, because they are supposedly harmful.

“If a speed bump disrupts road users, then it’s makruh (advised against but not sinful). But, if it claims lives, then it’s haram,” said MUI Samarinda head Zaini Naim, as quoted by Tempo on Sunday.

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With the score being 1-1 we are all at tenter hooks on what the outcome of the race will be. Will Malaysia counter with another stab stupider than this dogged approach? And if so, will Indonesia strike back with a big fatwa?

Only time will tell.

2 thoughts on “Who let the dogs out? Malaysia vs Indonesia’s Amazing Race to the Bottom

  1. An Indonesian here, and I just want to say that I’m so f*cking sick and tired of the religious bullshit like this happening in my country.

    Like

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