Unspun

What goes on at Singapore’s Special Operations Command? Unspun has’t the foggiest idea apart from what Unspun has gleaned from Le Carre, Andy McNab and other espionage writers.

A couple of things Unspun knows about the Special Operations Command though are that:

1. They like durians (either for their own consumption or to destabilize unfriendly regimes – Unspun would have to kill you if Unspun told you)
2. They like lots of durians (1,200kg to be exact)
3. They are damn fussy about the type of durians they get

Don’t believe Unspun? Well, neither did Unspun believe this information when a friend sent the link to me but if you doubt Unspun go here , (if this doesn’t work, go here,  then click on Tenders and in the page that appears type HOMSPFETQ0700100 for the ITQ number and then click SEARCH)

Apart from the typo on the headline, no one can claim that the Singapore government is anything but precise in its requirements.

Here’s an extract:

SUPPLY AND DELIVERY OF 1200KG OF SUPERIOR GRADE DURIAN FOR SPECIAL OPERTIONS COMMAND

INTRODUCTION

This document lay out the requirements and specifications for supply and delivery of superior grade durian for Special Operations Command hereby known as the Authority.

2. REQUIREMENT/SPECIFICATION

• The taste of the durian must of 70% bitter and 30% sweet of the total quantity;
• All vendors who participate in this ITQ shall provide durian tasting at their own cost and this is a critical evaluation criteria; (date will be revert by Authority, once this ITQ is close and the location will be at Special Operations Command, Queensway Base)
• Successful vendor shall provide the durian with the same quality as per the above tasting. Any deviation, the vendor shall be liable and the Authority has the right to reject the goods and payment will not be made for the whole sum as per Purchase Order issue;
• There will be 11 sessions of delivery, 4 sessions will be at Police K9 unit located at Chua Chu Kang and the rest will be at Special Operations Command, Queensway;
• There might be clashed of session between the two places and vendor must be able to accommodate to this request;
• Every session shall commence at 1700 hrs and any changes to this timing shall be notified by the Authority one day before the session;
• No transport claim shall be allowed for all the 11 sessions;
• Successful vendor shall provide 2 persons (must be familiar with the quality of the durian) to open and serve the durian on the spot on every session;
• These persons shall provide advise on the quality of the durian and must be able to make decision for the replacement once the durian is of inferior quality;
• All necessary equipment (inclusive of table for the opening of durian and boxes for take away) in regard to the durian shall be provided by the vendor;
• The successful vendor shall in charge of removing the eaten durian husk after every session and dispose off at the appropriate rubbish bin (not in user premise);
• All vendors shall quote the price base on per kg i.e. $1 of 1400kg = $1,400 and the price shall not be inclusive of GST. GST will be included once invoice received;
• The amount quoted shall be final and successful vendor must abide to this requirement; and
• The successful vendor shall provide familiarization tour of their premise for the evaluation team when call upon by the Authority. The vendor must be able to brief types of durian and place where the durian originated.

3. ENQUIRY

For further enquiry, please call at my DID.