Unspun

RIP: Achmad “Tells it like it is” Sudarsono


Achmad popped out of nowhere in one of Unspun’s posts (Reading it like it is) proclaiming himself to be a an “emerging Indonesian writer, philosopher, social critic, historian, political commentator with the mandate to take on the tough issues; tell the truth.”

He was not beyond stretching the truth though as when he boasted about his 11-inch asset.

Just as sudden as he materialized he’s now gone. Poof! No longer in the blogosphere. The man who would be Indonesia’s Borat, say Unspun‘s spies,  is likely to pop up elsewhere in the blogosphere. What identity will the shapeshifter take this time? The spies say it’s going to be a serious blog. Too bad. I thought Achmad was interesting, even though his limits on telling it like it is were somewhat all over the place.

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13 responses to “RIP: Achmad “Tells it like it is” Sudarsono”

  1. bayi Avatar
    bayi

    “proclaiming himself”? As in blowing his own trumpet? 🙂

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  2. Mr John Avatar
    Mr John

    I must say I did get the impression that the whole business was a hoax… Surely someone as intelligent as he obviously is realises the pointlessness of making non-sequitur racist jibes on bule blogs around the place… That’s the beauty of Borat though, the possibility that he just might be real. If he is a hoax, he’s a pretty good one…

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  3. John Avatar
    John

    It was Mr. Unspun’s own alter ego… That’s my conspiracy theory in any case.

    John: Yeah, sure. And Unspun shot JFK too.    Unspun

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  4. Achmad Sudarsono Avatar
    Achmad Sudarsono

    Friends,

    RIP ? Never.

    Achmad has merely been deployed as an observer on a scientific mission to Antartica to observe the effects of global warming. He is very disappointed at the lack of svelte and buxom Swedish research assistants. (He thought it was the arctic and a study of body-to-body warmth as treatment of hyopthermia).

    He writes now as the first majestic ice-blue glaciers appear, strewn with penguins; the lonely cries of seagulls haunt the winds.

    Internet-connects are intermittent, friends, and once Achmad has set it up, he will, like fellow vigilantes of the downtrodden, Robin Hood, Si Pitoeng, and Ned Kelly, return when least expected. (I grudglingly admit Ned Kelly was Irish).

    In the meantime, Achmad’s cousins, Fachmy Aptias, Sudogiman, and Azwar Kocok-Kocok, will pitch in from time-to-time to continue Achmad’s mission; ‘to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.’

    And now, as this steel ice-breaker cuts through the rolling, marble-grey sea, and we face the stinging gusts from Antartica, I’m thinking fondly of you all, friends, yes, even those who called me names such as ‘goat-molester’, ‘spoiled brat’, ‘idiot’, and ‘moron’.

    Telling the Truth has never been easy, friends.

    I go now. I might be gone for quite some time….

    Achmad

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  5. Azwar Kocok-Kocok Avatar
    Azwar Kocok-Kocok

    Hallo !

    Yes, it is I, Azwar Kocok-Kocok ! My cousin Achamd is up to his…’thing’ in ice and penguins down in Antartica. Although I could never match his greatness in the battle against the White Man, I will try.
    I will also try to cast some light, however dim, on the Achmadian themes of Indonesia’s emergence as a global superpower, dangdut, and the Poco-Poco dance.
    Nice to meet you all, Friends.
    Merdeka !
    Awar

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  6. John Avatar
    John

    Apologies Unspun – was a cheap shot 😛

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  7. Sam Avatar
    Sam

    Achamd;

    Where are your lunatic friends; Daryono and Jaya? Are they back safely in the asylum? So you’ve given up your phony bad English huh? Are you, Daryono and Jaya the same guy?

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  8. Achmad Sudarsono Avatar
    Achmad Sudarsono

    Friend (s)

    We have a few minutes of sat-phone connection ! It’s a beautiful thing, friends ! It’s so cold here, it’s hardly worth measuring my ‘thing’.

    Mr. Sam,

    Sometimes I struggle with English, especially when I crank it out at high speed without thinking. Not thinking seems to be a normal state for you, like most Bules.

    Friend, Jaya Subramaniam is an esteemed Professor of History at Chandrapore University. I haven’t found it on the web. He told me it was because they were too poor to get connected because of the legacy of White Man’s Rule in India. That’s just what he said.

    Daryono was hounded off the blogs by the hysterical attacks of those who don’t want to hear The Truth. It has always been this way. Just as some just don’t like it if a Brown Man dines at the Colonial Club or uses English that is too polish.

    Me sorry Sahib, Me use bad English, Ok misterrr Ok ???

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  9. whatever Avatar
    whatever

    Yeah, I believe it is a hoax and a conspiracy theory. It’s too good (or too bad?) too be true. This Achmad seems to have all the resources and plenty times to write, insult, throw people’s words back to their face and comment on other opinion from people about himself. I don’t think he can do it on his own.

    This man (or the people behind him) either doing it for fun or researching on how public would react on such ‘feed’, or even they have bigger agenda to discredit Muslims further more.

    I don’t believe he’s the man he claimed to be, he could be a white-man – who knows, cause he hates white-people but also calls his other Indonesian fellows ‘morons’.

    Gotta love the conspiracy theory, cause you can never prove it!

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  10. Michael Chick Avatar
    Michael Chick

    Did you really “Kill JFK” ? I always thought it was either the “Village People” coz of the construction worker, the policeman and the red indian singers 😛

    Or maybe it was the “cigarette smoking man” from the x-files 🙂 ….

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  11. Anita Avatar
    Anita

    Oh jeez, Unspun, I almost got a heart attack when reading your Achmad’s RIP! I like Achmad but I’ve had always liked rude, insulting, strange people anyway….

    I’ve been back to Indonesia since last week and managed to avoid him physically so far, since he boasted about his attraction to smelly armpits and his abilities of Peter Townsend-like dangdut dance in IndonesiaMatters…

    Achmad, you rock!

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  12. Achmad Sudarsono Avatar
    Achmad Sudarsono

    To my Fans: there will be more in 2008. Up and coming to include special New Year’s offers on Achmad products, including a DVD on Achmad’s dating tips, Achmad’s guide to Urban Guerilla Warfare (subtitled Che Guevara was a Pussy), and “Achmad: live at Blora”.

    To my detractors: To quote Martin Luther King, “there are some who can’t take begin told how to be civilized by a black man.” Some just can’t take the same from Achmad Sudarsono, poet, ukuele player, dangdut singer, and Javanese. They expect us Javanese to smile and stab from the back. I take a leaf out of my Batak colleague’s Biwan (a curried dog dish): confront disinformation head on.

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