Wonders never cease: This advertisement was in The Jakarta Post this morning. Another indication of the deep lack of understanding of the PR industry here is that most of the larger and more progressive PR firms here do not take affiliation to APRI/IPRA/PERHUMAS/PRSI seriously, so the insistence on affiliation smells of bureaucracy at work.
But can you imagine how the pitch will go? Unspun’s take on the probable scenario below:
MTB: We want you to make us look good lah. Especially our (genuflects) Minister Tengku Adnan. He’s the only one brave enough to speak out against bloggers, especially them lying women bloggers who have nothing to do because they are unemployed.
PR firm: Well, Sir, er it’s a difficult. Sometimes you have a PR problem, other times you just have a PR problem.
MTB: (getting flustered) I don’t care-lah. You PR people supposed to come up with solutions, not problems. What is the problem?
PR firm: It may be a bit sensitive but your Minister IS the problem. It’s not very good PR to go about calling bloggers – whom we think is a vital channel for your communications – liars. It’s also bad PR to whack women.
MTB: Never mind-lah. This one all conspiracy against Malaysia and (genuflects) Tengku Adnan. You PR people can put a positive spin to it what.
PR firm: Not really Sir, Good PR is not about spinning. It’s about advising our clients to have the right attitude and frame of mind so that when they communicate – through their actions and words – they come across credibly.
MTB: Hmmm. Never mind, Indonesians do not know what’s happening in Malaysia, so they would not know about (genuflects) Tengku Adnan. What we need you to do is to tell them about how good Malaysia is so that they call go there.
PR firm: I think the Indonesians already know about Tengku and his problems that started because the MTB organized her trip very badly and she blogged about it and lots of other bloggers posted about it. Anyway what do you think we can tell about Malaysia that can get Indonesians going there?
MTB: Well, we have Langkawi, but don’t compare it with Bali or it may not sound so attractive. We also have this great homestay program where Indonesians can come here and watch what life is there in the kampungs – it would be like a homecoming for them. Our kamungs are a bit cleaner but otherwise it’s all the same. Then we have padi fields, lots of them, again it’s like back home for you Indons so you’ll love it. Then we have our culture – we have wayang kulit, batik – new modern stuff and none of that nonsense from Solo or other places. We also have Minangkabau dances, much like the ones you have in Padang…
PR firm: Hmmm…I know! We can invite some Indonesian journalists to Malaysia and then they can write about how great the country is.
MTB: That’s a good idea but we can’t be half-arsed to organize such trips properly You mean we have to cater to the journalists needs and help them get permits and all sorts of permission for shooting if we get TV crews there.
PR firm: Well, you want lots of coverage so that people will want to go there…
MTB: But, but…that calls for organization and hard work, when will we get our time to drink our teh tarik if we do this?
PR firm: I know we can also invite bloggers. These days peer recommendation is the way to go. Most people would trust blogger’s recommendations and look them up before visiting a place, or be inspired by positive reviews on blogs…
MTB: Cannot-lah.
PR firm: Why not
MTB: Because all those bloggers are lying bastards. Especially the women, they are the worst. They have nothing to do all day but stay in the kitchen or gossip with their friends while making lemang and rendang. Then they blog their lies, trying to smear the good name of our beloved and much admired (genuflects) Tengku.
PR firm: Uhm, Ok, maybe we should just take out ads aja. It’s more expensive but publicity is guaranteed (proceeds to faint).
Seriously though, the MTB’s image, which reflects on Malaysia, is now so bad to anyone who can read a newspaper or a blog that there is nothing a PR firm can do to help them, unless there is a genuine wish on their part to stop living in denial, confront their problems and do something about it before communicating.
As it isThe MTB spends millions of ringgit of malaysian taxpayers money. It brings in some tourists but not as many as it can if it has good PR. Good PR is about communicating credibly. Malaysia and the MTB has a PR problem but it can’t be fixed unless it addresses the real problem – incompetents without people and communications skills among other deficiencies put in high positions of responsibility. Sort that out and Unspun will even do the PR for Malaysia and the MTB free of charge.
Unspun 
Hehe.. I love this tongue-in-cheek jibe Sir.. Indeed MTB damage control team in overdrive.. Hey you taking up the job? GOOD LUCK! When are they going to realize it’s hell a lot easier and cheaper to remove the offending character? Say’s a lot about the nation’s executive . . .
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Selo: What? And defend the indefensible? I love money but I not so stoopid lah.
One wonders what the winning PR firm will do once bloggers get win of who they are working for.
Besides, I have no credibility because I’m a blogger and we know that all bloggers are liars don’t we? 😉
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Good stuff, Ong. I think they should hire you. I would.
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Denial is not only prevalent in MTB but can be seen in other Bolehland government machineries as well. So, regardless of how many media training or pr exercise these buggers go through, the standard reply is…”aiyah..the press fellas misquoted me lah..why you all like dat! Never listen carefully”
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Yo dude, in all fairness, it’s like “taking a punch below the belt ” in the above scenario and very unspun like! Yes, there are lots of stuff MTB did that does not augurs well esp. for bolehland, then again this is a very “unspun” like scenario.
Having said that, why don’t you tender for the job and let’s see what you can do to save the day in the name of PR? I would not say it’s stupid but to proof your own point! As the saying goes, talk is cheap without any action.
cheers
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The MTB should have consulted you before plunging headlong into the “irreversible”. Could have saved them a lot of unnecessary damage control work. You’re right. Whatever they do now, nothing can be effective if they continue to live in the denial. As Mat Salo says, it just might be more effective to remove the offending character!
But what if the whole Cabinet is in the denial mode?
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Food: what’s underhanded is an anonymous Yahoo account trying to stir mischief.
But Bayi and Mat Selo are spot on: in crisis management mode it will be a foolhardy PR firm that plunges in when the client is arrogant and in denial.
The whole Cabinet in denial? Any Cabinet that is not in denial would have already forced TA to apologize already, if not step down.
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Jeremy: thanks for the kind words. if you were TA the MTB would not have been in such a mess in the first place.
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omg, they actually looking for PR firm now?
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And I am laughing and laughing. This post is so funny 😀
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I liked it so much that I posted it on my blog last saturday. Hope u don’t mind!
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Enda: yes they are. They tried about three years ago and during those days we still pitched so we went. Then we saw others that were pitching who were basically EOs and other no namers. The usual large PR companies were not there. Something smelt fishy.
A junior consultant who was with me was also scolded by a member of the panel for the temerity to attend that pitch because he had not been in Malaysia. Go figure what sort of creaures lurk the Malaysian bureaucracy.
Miund, Baiti: Glad you guys found the posting funny.
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I though you guys would have worked it out by now — they have someone already organised, someone with connections to BOLEH milk the Govt!
Malaysia is a joke – even the PM’s brother is reported to have opened a warung nasi kandar in Perth with a Chinese gentleman, that is one way to migrate (if true). Question is (if true) WHY? Is the ship sinking?
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